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Archive for the ‘Story’ Category

Good Thing to Remember

I was talking to one of my best friends, about how tonight (or the night of September 6, 2013), at bible study, one of my old youth pastors, was visiting, and he talked about how there are good Christians, Christians who study the Bible, go to church, to good, etc. but they don’t really live for Christ. What they (we) really need to do is die to ourselves, so that we can live for God. We need to focus on the things he’s given us each day, and when we have accomplishments, we need to not praise ourselves or be happy. We need to praise and thank Him.

There are times, when I’m desperate I go to God. But most of the time, maybe I’ll say a quick prayer and go on my way. But it’s only in time of need, when in reality I should be talking to him each day, not just when I need that “lean to” person, even though he’s happy to help and is always there for us. God also wants us to focus on him all the time. He wants us to go through trials. He’s going to test us; to see how well we stand up and also to remind us again (and again if necessary) that we need him. More than ever. And when we get lost, he knows how to capture us and bring us back.

My friend made the comment of: “That’s definitely hard to remember to do every day. We get so caught up in our lives that we forget about Him who gave us life.”

My username on so many accounts is “CapturedbyChrist.” And it’s true. But I sometimes don’t let him capture me, I’m like a mustang, running away, not wanting to submit; to live my own way, when in reality, I need to submit to him as my leader, the one I need to trust, depend on, love, and always remember no matter what. He’s always there for me.

We do, we get so caught up in school, how our grades are, what homework we need to do. We’re always planning ahead. We don’t take each day step by step. We take each week leap by leap. With God, we oh so often as for what our future is going to look like; what’s the master plan, when instead, we need to be asking him what the next step is. Not leap. Step. One foot in front of the other. Slowly, steady, constant. No leaps, jumps, or haste. Patience is key.

Some of this little “philosophy” is based off a book (I don’t remember the title), and how it states the “Joseph Principle.” Of how, in the end when Joseph was thrown in the pit by his brothers, was sold into slavery, then by his wisdom, became the 2nd in command of Egypt and it just so happened the Israel was having a famine and his brother came to Egypt to seek food, Joseph recognized them, at first he was a little angry. But he forgave them, and he was able to save his family and bring them to Egypt. All this wasn’t by his own power, or glory. It was by God. God had a step-by-step plan for him. God knew what he needed, he knew the whole story, and he knew, even when Joseph celebrated, that he wasn’t doing it for himself, patting himself on the back, no Joseph was thanking God. Joseph knew what God had done. God’s grace and mercy are ever over-flowing and present.

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I stared across the room, jaw open in wonder, as my friend took the stage in a form I had never seen before. Suddenly, my kind and gentle friend was storming into a scene with such passion and emotion I felt for sure he was either going to hit the girl standing in front of him or pop a blood vessel reproaching her.

“Do you think I can choose my face?” He bellowed with his eyes flaming in anger that only intensified as he raged seconds away from the trembling girl’s body.

I breathed a sigh of relief as he put the script down and jauntily walked up to me after the director nodded her approval. “Whatcha think?” He asked, his smiling meeting my face of shock.

“I think I don’t know you.”

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Have you ever known someone for years, then suddenly realized how much of them you didn’t know?

I told you about this moment I had with a dear friend of mine to open up my point:

I knew this guy. We had been friends, talk, and hung out all before- yet right at that moment, I saw a side of him that I could have never even guess was there. One moment I thought I knew every side of this kid, now I realized just how much I had to learn about him.

This is the way I find most of us view God in. We see one side of him and assume that is all of Him.

Growing up I only saw God as this strict fatherly figure. A father who was always there, yet only interested in teaching me lessons. Have you ever seen those fathers on TV shows or in books? The ones who are always present in their children’s lives, yet only really interacting with them when they are giving them a lesson to learn or trying to teach them something.  In the book, Hard Times, the father of Louisa is only interested in cultivating her and her brother’s studies. Everything else, such as quality time, is out of the picture.

I sort of felt just like Louisa did by the time she grew up; I respected my father, but I didn’t feel connected with him. (This is where the similarities end with me and Louisa)

Yet- I have heard people talk and gush about the love and kindness of God, so what was I missing?

I was missing a whole other side of God. In the midst of only seeing God in this way, I missed out on his actual character. I missed out on the core reason God wants to teach me.

I now hold God in the respect of my Father, but I know him also as my lover.

In today’s society the idea of having God as my ‘love’ or ‘lover’ is probably gross. BUT DON’T MISUNDERSTAND!

God being a lover is first brought up in the Bible under the Hebrew word ‘Ahava’, which is translated into two different parts. The two ending letters, which make up the base of the word, mean ‘give’. This leaves the proceeding letters, which mean ‘love’. So the end connection of these two words would be, ‘Love is giving.’ (Excuse me if this doesn’t make much sense- my Hebrew is elementary. Link for the word study will be posted below)

Our God is a giving God, huh? What kind of giving are we talking about?

Let’s do some research:

“I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the Lord.” Jer. 24:7

God gave us a heart to know Him. His first gift made us in His image (look in Genesis). Meaning He gave us the emotions He himself has- He gave us this longing that can only be fulfilled by knowing Him, hence He also has the same longing to know us.

He wants us to want Him. He longs for us to have a personal relationship with Him! Can you believe it? The Creator of EVERYTHING wants to know ME. I get shivers just thinking of that.

So now we know He gave us a heart longing for a personal relationship with Him, but what does this personal relationship include?

Salvation from damnation is the first thing that comes to my mind, however, what comes after that?

If He wants a real relationship with me, He won’t just save me and leave me.

The story of Hosea shows the outline of our relationship with God. In the story Hosea goes out and marries a harlot. He loves her, she leaves him. She gets into danger, he saves her. He shows her love, she grows restless and decides to seek out something better. Ring any bells? He is always there for her, reaching out to her, yet she is constantly striving to find something more, without giving him the chance to show her what he has for her. But now, now I am done looking for other options and am seeking this personal intimate relationship with God. So what does he have to say about it?

“I will block her path with thorn bushes; I will wall her so she cannot find her way.

She will chase after lovers, but not catch them; she will look but not find them….

Therefore, I will allure her; I will lead her to the desert and speak tenderly to her.

I will give her vineyards and the Valley of Trouble a door of hope,

There she will sing praises as in the days of her youth.”

~Hosea 2: 6-7, 14-15

I skipped some verses only because it talks about what would happen if I was not walking with God, but I am, so they hold nothing but warnings for me. Currently, I am only interested in learning what God wants in our relationship.

First off he states he will ‘block my path so I cannot find my way’- the way I see this is that God knows that the only way we can be saved is through Him. Therefore, He steps in to save me, again. Because, even as a follower of God, I still sometimes want to go out on a mission to save myself. Self-reliance and feminism is taught to many girls and I certainly have a hankering to proceed in that lifestyle. However, that is not true feminism, nor what God wants. He wants me to lean on Him. He knows that in me trying to do everything myself, I will end up hurt, so he takes his gentle but firm hand and builds me boundaries. He cares enough to say, ‘no, see this beautiful rose hedge? Don’t go past it. The thorns will hurt you if you try and the lifestyle beyond it will hurt you even more than that.’

Next He says, ‘She will chase after lovers, but not catch them; she will look but not find them….’

Oh how well He knows a girl’s heart! I long and crave for the affection of a guy- what girl doesn’t?

We all want to be swept into a whirl wind of romance. I’ve always pictured something like the Notebook:

Allie: Why didn’t you write me? Why?

Noah: It wasn’t over for me.

Allie: I waited for you for seven years. And now it’s too late.

Noah: I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you every day for a year.

Allie: You wrote me?

Noah: Yes.

Allie: You…

Noah: It wasn’t over. It still isn’t over.

That scene is flooded with burning passion, feelings of lost hope, anger at what she thinks is lost, and his aching desire at showing her it isn’t lost.

How many of us would love to be the Allie at that moment? (I raise my hand)

Now image God is Noah (meaning we should probably switch out Ryan Gosling for the voice of Morgan Freeman and a picture of God, you know the one where he has that huge white beard and is teeming with power?) The passion Allie has during this confrontation stays the same though. We feel heartbroken and angered that we haven’t heard from God in so long.

We ask why over and over again, trying to spit out in anger hoping for him to be roused as well or at least be silent long enough to prove He isn’t real.

But He is and this is what He has been saying to us all along.  We ran, He waited for us to stop. We looked, He called out for us. We listened, He spoke. We felt too broken to be rebuilt, He picked up the pieces and built us up stronger in His arms than ever before.

He has been calling out to us, not just as a teacher, but as a lover. Someone who will be with us through thick and thin, constantly giving and never straying. We just have to discover this relationship with Him.

“The King is enthralled with your beauty; honor Him for He is your Lord.” Psalm 45:11

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I am back!…. and terribly sorry for not writing anything for months, but I am back and ready to go full throttle again!

Wondering where I went? My new series will spread some light on that (: be sure to read it!

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CONFESSION OF A CHRISTIAN GIRL: Intro

A lot of people write out their stories about their walk with God. Starting from where they were broken, to seeking, to finding, to being healed, and ending with how wonderful God has made their lives. After reading hundreds of these stories something inside of you starts to say, this lifestyle is worth it.

Yet, another part of you says, what if my story doesn’t end that way? What if I’m that one story that fails?

Even though I firmly believe that God has a perfect plan for me; I still am faced with uncertainties that come with being so young. Is God really there when people are bullying me? Why does He let them do that? Will I ever have close friends whom I can trust? Or will I always be the loner? Is there actually a guy out there that will want me for me? Not for what he can get out of me, but because he actually loves me? Where is God when death is looming over the lives of the people I love, snatching them up before they should be taken? The questions never end. They just keep coming and I am in the middle of the chaos.

So I am going to ask you to take a journey with me. I do not want to wait and write a book after this is all over, when I am feeling freedom and resting in peace. Because, right now, a lot of girls my age are going through similar storms and wondering, is anyone else holding on? Or can I just sink and drowned already?

Therefore, I am going to write to you in the bedlam of the storm. To let you know that you are not alone. I am here. I am holding on to God. And if I can get through this, so can you.

~Confession of a Christian Girl

Preview:
To tackle every confession I have as a sinful human would take millions, if not billions, of words. Words which, even after being brought together, you would not want to read. So I am going to start from last year. With the exact week I stopped posting blogs on here, just so you can get caught up and read what God has been teaching me.

July 27th? Eesh, we are going far back! At least, with everything that has happened to me it feels far.

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